"It's Election Day!!"

A message from a real patriot:

I would like to remind everyone of the importance of elections in this country. It is a sacred tradition that fuels this great, Bog Blessed, land and has made us what we are. In a way, it is magical; every four years we walk into a building and grab a piece of paper and make a check in a box for either candidate X, who probably demonstrates some sort of advocation of killing lots of evildoers and patriotism, or candidate Y, who probably demonstrates some sort of advocation of killing lots of evildoers and a little bit lesser degree of patriotism. And the votes, I should add, are probably counted.

This magical act clearly distinguishes America from the other hedonistic nations around the world, like Canada, who do not check boxes (unless, of course, they listen to everything we say, in which case they are probably valuable allies in the war against evildoers).

So today, on this important day in American history, change the world and check a box. But for heavens sake, don’t cause any ruckus through protest about humanitarian causes, or raise questions that force people in power to answer things, or start to truly participate in a real democracy that places real power to the people; that would just be downright un-American.

Yes Sir Yes Sir!!